WIREDGOV

To celebrate Kinship Care Week, I am sharing a guest blog from Rebekah, a 63-year-old kinship carer, who describes the moment her life changed as she became a kinship carer for her two grandchildren.  

“Everything changed in an instant. 

“My daughter had been suffering from a life-limiting auto immune condition, so I had been helping as much as possible with her young children. We thought we had years still, but when she died suddenly, of course I didn’t hesitate to step up to take on the care of my grandchildren. 

“Still grieving myself, and suddenly a parent to young children again, my biggest concern was the trauma that the children were dealing with. They desperately needed specialist support and help.  

“I have fought to try to get them bereavement counselling, but the waiting lists are very long, and, as many kinship carers find, our children don’t qualify for a lot of the same support as children in the care system. I’m determined to keep fighting to get my grandchildren what they need to navigate all this and thrive. I don’t want them to fall behind at school because they’re not getting the help they need. 

“It’s not the only challenge I’ve faced since becoming a kinship carer.  

“I was told by the local authority that we weren’t entitled to any financial support as the children had never been in care. So, we have debts.  

“The kids have never had a holiday. We don’t put the heating on for longer than a couple of hours in the winter and we use blankets and dressing gowns to keep warm. I’ve used food banks and food vouchers from the school and my mum has helped me out a bit. Somehow we’ve always managed to get by. Although I’m physically fit and healthy for my age, I do feel like l’m juggling too many balls in the air, and it’s often tough. 

“Of course, I would do it all over again. My grandchildren have brought a lot of joy into my life, and I know that by giving them a loving home with their grandma, I’m giving them the best childhood they could have, given their tough start to life. They know they are loved and they are still connected to their mum through me. And I will always be there for them, no matter what. 

“This Kinship Care Week, I hope that more people learn about kinship carers – about the way that ordinary people like me have stepped up to give children the loving home they need, turning our lives upside down in the process.  

“I think the more understanding there is about kinship care, and what this incredible group of children (three times the number than are in unrelated foster care) need, the better support they will get.  

“I’m sure my grandchildren will grow up to do amazing things in this world. I hope we can all work together to make sure they have what they need to get there.” 

For more information, advice and support around kinship care visit kinship.org.uk.